With The Funny Man

A scholar hesitates on "connoisseur," -Prof.-What would you call a man that pretends to know everything?

Scholar - A professor.

Latin student reading Vergil.-Three times I strove to cast my arms about her neck and-that's as far as I got, professor.

Prof.-Well, I think that was quite far enough.

"When rain falls does it ever rise again?" asked a professor of chemistry.
"Yes sir."
"When?"
"Why, in dew time-"
"That will do, sir, you may sit down."

Butcher-Come, John, break the bones in Mr. Williamson's chops and put Mrs. Smith's ribs in the basket.
John-Yes, sir, as soon as I have sawed off Mr. Murphy's leg.

Rex fugit.-It was in Latin class, and a dull boy was wrestling with the sentence "Rex fugit," which he rendered after painful slowness, "the king flees."
But in what other tense can the verb "fugit" be found?
"Perfect," owing to prompting.
Teacher-And how do you translate it there?
"Dun-no"
Teacher-Why put a "has" in it.
Again the boy drawled out "the king has flees (fleas)."

Man was born to rule, but sometimes he gets married.